I find myself in the middle of a very tense situation... literally in the middle.
I am of the pasty variety. I don't consider that my identity, nor is it something that I feel either proud or ashamed of. Honestly, my skin color doesn't evoke a lot of emotion for me. It was never something that was praised, emphasized or criticized in my home, my school, my job or my church. And that is probably true for a lot of us depending on where we grew up and where we live currently. That's probably why some of us are in denial that there is still a problem with racism in our nation. This has been my reality, but it has not been everyone's reality.
I was taught that racism is wrong and that people of every race have the same potential, but not everyone has the same resources. I was taught that things in our history put the black community at an unfair disadvantage that has still yet to be overcome. I was taught not to judge, because I had not walked in their shoes. I was taught to do something if there was something that I could do. So here's where my family and I have landed.
My dad started doing prison ministry and took part in the mentor program with AISD when I was in grade school. At that point my exposure to other racial cultures and SES cultures expanded. My sheltered middle class bubble was popped, and I am so grateful for that. The young man that my dad started mentoring at that time has become more than just an extension of our family, but an integral part of it. He was up at the hospital hurting, not just for us, but with us as we said good bye to Mom on Memorial Day weekend. I consider him my brother and his lovely wife my sister-in-law. Their kids call my dad grandpa.
My brother and sister have dealt with things I have never had to deal with. They have had to overcome things that I have never had to overcome, and I applaud them for the bravery and grace in which they have done it. My dad has walked along side my brother through the years just as he's walked along side me. He was there for him as a father figure because there was a gap that needed to be filled in that regard. There was a resource that needed to be provided so that my brother could succeed in life. I needed my dad growing up, and so did my brother.
Today, my husband and I are the proud adoptive parents of a 2 1/2 year old boy with beautiful brown skin, tight curls, and the longest eye lashes you've ever seen. He has the most gentle spirit and his smile melts my heart. I worry for him and his future often. He is likely to be well over 6 feet tall and will probably seem intimidating to those who don't know him. He'll probably get stopped for "driving while black." He'll probably have women cross to the other side of the street when walking in a downtown setting at night. There are probably a number of other things he'll encounter that I have no frame of reference for and that I have no idea how to prepare him for. I will do my best to teach him to be Christ like above all else, in every situation. I will do my best to teach him not to hate or foster bitterness. I will do my best to teach him to prove the stereotype wrong rather than prove his accuser right. Ultimately he'll have to make his own choices though and even then, I can't judge him because I have never and will never have to walk through what he's going to have to walk through.
There are so many factors to consider when we look at the overall problem. There are fatherless sons and daughters. There's poverty. There's crime because there's poverty. There is racism. There is racial profiling. There's a vicious cycle that is only bravely broken on occasion. There are some bad cops and corrupt governments. What we have to remember is that being black or any other minority doesn't make one a criminal, being poor doesn't make one a criminal, being a cop doesn't make one racist, and being in government doesn't make one corrupt. We need people in the trenches breaking down the stereotypes rather than proving their accusers right on both "sides." We need mentors, we need fathers, we need teachers, we need friends, we need neighbors, we need peace makers. We need people who will stand in the gap. We need good listeners. We need people who will see a need and race to fill that need.
I applaud the police officers in Dallas for bravely rushing into danger to protect the people at the Black Lives Matter peaceful protest. I morn the loss of those lives. Please don't let them die in vain. Rather than perpetuating the hate, the bitterness, the divide... lets do something brave. Lets forgive. Lets withhold our judgement till we know all of the facts, and even then, lets extend grace. Lets prove our accusers wrong and turn the other cheek. Lets go the extra mile with them and provide for their needs.
So here is my shameless plug once again... There is a massive shortage in foster and foster/adopt families right now... would you consider being a part of the solution and help us break these cycles of poverty and crime in some way if not in this way? Would you consider making a sacrifice for the good of someone else? Anyone can rant on Facebook and point fingers and lash out in fear of being the next victim. That's our natural reaction when we feel that we hold something in common with one "side" or the other. There are no sides if you have an eternal perspective. There are only souls.
