There are a lot of things I don't really want to do, but I know its right, and I know I should, so I do them. I don't always want to go to work and be responsible for multi-million dollar projects, but I need to earn a living for myself and my family, and I want to leave a legacy of hard work for my kids. Sometimes, I'm so tired at the end of the day that I just want to fall into bed, but I take the time to brush my teeth anyway, because I don't want to get a cavity. Sometimes I want to be lazy, but I take the time to love my husband in the way he receives it best, acts of service, because I love him and I want him to know it and feel it. I always want ice cream, always, but I don't even buy it at the grocery store because I know I would eat it and I know its not good for my health. There are hundreds of things daily that we all do, not because we want to, but because we're responsible and considerate people.
So the question today is not about what I want to do. The question today is about what I should or should not do. If I based every decision on what I wanted to do or not do, my life would be defined by selfishness and in the end would turn into a very destructive pattern to be perfectly honest. What I want is not always good for me or anyone else.
My husband and I have a very big decision before us this morning that we are conferencing with our foster/adopt agency about in just a couple hours. If you happen to come across this blog today, please say a prayer for us. Pray that we follow God in this and not our own selfish agenda. Pray that God would give us courage, clarity, discernment and wisdom. We want to get out of the boat and walk on the water toward our Savior, but only if he's calling us to in this particular situation, only if this is where he is truly leading. To be perfectly honest, we're a bit scared of either of the two possible outcomes this morning. Both scenarios could include an element of sacrifice and/or loss that we had not previously factored into our plans.
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