I find myself in the middle of a very tense situation... literally in the middle.
I am of the pasty variety. I don't consider that my identity, nor is it something that I feel either proud or ashamed of. Honestly, my skin color doesn't evoke a lot of emotion for me. It was never something that was praised, emphasized or criticized in my home, my school, my job or my church. And that is probably true for a lot of us depending on where we grew up and where we live currently. That's probably why some of us are in denial that there is still a problem with racism in our nation. This has been my reality, but it has not been everyone's reality.
I was taught that racism is wrong and that people of every race have the same potential, but not everyone has the same resources. I was taught that things in our history put the black community at an unfair disadvantage that has still yet to be overcome. I was taught not to judge, because I had not walked in their shoes. I was taught to do something if there was something that I could do. So here's where my family and I have landed.
My dad started doing prison ministry and took part in the mentor program with AISD when I was in grade school. At that point my exposure to other racial cultures and SES cultures expanded. My sheltered middle class bubble was popped, and I am so grateful for that. The young man that my dad started mentoring at that time has become more than just an extension of our family, but an integral part of it. He was up at the hospital hurting, not just for us, but with us as we said good bye to Mom on Memorial Day weekend. I consider him my brother and his lovely wife my sister-in-law. Their kids call my dad grandpa.
My brother and sister have dealt with things I have never had to deal with. They have had to overcome things that I have never had to overcome, and I applaud them for the bravery and grace in which they have done it. My dad has walked along side my brother through the years just as he's walked along side me. He was there for him as a father figure because there was a gap that needed to be filled in that regard. There was a resource that needed to be provided so that my brother could succeed in life. I needed my dad growing up, and so did my brother.
Today, my husband and I are the proud adoptive parents of a 2 1/2 year old boy with beautiful brown skin, tight curls, and the longest eye lashes you've ever seen. He has the most gentle spirit and his smile melts my heart. I worry for him and his future often. He is likely to be well over 6 feet tall and will probably seem intimidating to those who don't know him. He'll probably get stopped for "driving while black." He'll probably have women cross to the other side of the street when walking in a downtown setting at night. There are probably a number of other things he'll encounter that I have no frame of reference for and that I have no idea how to prepare him for. I will do my best to teach him to be Christ like above all else, in every situation. I will do my best to teach him not to hate or foster bitterness. I will do my best to teach him to prove the stereotype wrong rather than prove his accuser right. Ultimately he'll have to make his own choices though and even then, I can't judge him because I have never and will never have to walk through what he's going to have to walk through.
There are so many factors to consider when we look at the overall problem. There are fatherless sons and daughters. There's poverty. There's crime because there's poverty. There is racism. There is racial profiling. There's a vicious cycle that is only bravely broken on occasion. There are some bad cops and corrupt governments. What we have to remember is that being black or any other minority doesn't make one a criminal, being poor doesn't make one a criminal, being a cop doesn't make one racist, and being in government doesn't make one corrupt. We need people in the trenches breaking down the stereotypes rather than proving their accusers right on both "sides." We need mentors, we need fathers, we need teachers, we need friends, we need neighbors, we need peace makers. We need people who will stand in the gap. We need good listeners. We need people who will see a need and race to fill that need.
I applaud the police officers in Dallas for bravely rushing into danger to protect the people at the Black Lives Matter peaceful protest. I morn the loss of those lives. Please don't let them die in vain. Rather than perpetuating the hate, the bitterness, the divide... lets do something brave. Lets forgive. Lets withhold our judgement till we know all of the facts, and even then, lets extend grace. Lets prove our accusers wrong and turn the other cheek. Lets go the extra mile with them and provide for their needs.
So here is my shameless plug once again... There is a massive shortage in foster and foster/adopt families right now... would you consider being a part of the solution and help us break these cycles of poverty and crime in some way if not in this way? Would you consider making a sacrifice for the good of someone else? Anyone can rant on Facebook and point fingers and lash out in fear of being the next victim. That's our natural reaction when we feel that we hold something in common with one "side" or the other. There are no sides if you have an eternal perspective. There are only souls.
Thursday, July 14, 2016
Friday, June 12, 2015
Is this really happening!?!?!
We're in the final weeks you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!! All that's left is to set a court date!!!!!!!!!! Its been a long road, but we're closing in on the end of it... or at least the end of the adoption process. The parenting road has just begun.
There were so many heart wrenching moments that we feared we'd lose our Munchkin. We weren't sure if adoption was even going to be a possibility. We worried about the fate of our little man and all of the potential scenarios that he might face. The hardest part was that there was nothing we could do about it. All we could do is love him as much as we could and for as long as the State of Texas would allow us to. Now we get to celebrate becoming his forever family!!!!
The sweetest part to me, is that he has no idea how monumental this date will be. He has no idea that he isn't already legally ours. He has no idea that another life, a much different life, could have been laid before him. He won't have the wounds and scars that he might have had. He will never know the fear and uncertainty of bouncing around in the foster care system. He won't be a long term victim of abuse and neglect. I love that he has no clue how exciting all of this is! Ignorance is bliss in this particular situation.
There's one thing that's bothered me for a while though... People are always saying how great it is what we're doing for him, and I do understand what they mean, but it just doesn't sound right to me. Its not as though Munchkin should be more grateful to us than Jackson should be. And lets be honest, no kid is truly grateful to their parents until they are parents themselves. We chose to take multiple roads and methods when building our family and we did it on purpose. Munchkin is going to reap the benefits of that decision in the long term scheme of things, but it doesn't mean he owes us anything in return. We don't feel as though there is really a difference between the two in how much love there is for each of our boys.
Like I said, I know that's not what people mean, but I would like to make a request. Munchkin is getting older and understanding more and more of what we say. We don't want him to grow up feeling as though he's subject to our charitable generosity, or that he's not really ours, or that he doesn't really belong. My fear is that comments like this in front of him will eventually make him feel that way even though it isn't true. Please be mindful of what you say in front of him. He's my baby as much as Jackson is. If you wouldn't say it about Jackson, please don't say it about Munchkin.
To leave you on a lighter note... Get ready for Facebook to blow up with more than a years worth of Munchkin pictures in the next month or two!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There were so many heart wrenching moments that we feared we'd lose our Munchkin. We weren't sure if adoption was even going to be a possibility. We worried about the fate of our little man and all of the potential scenarios that he might face. The hardest part was that there was nothing we could do about it. All we could do is love him as much as we could and for as long as the State of Texas would allow us to. Now we get to celebrate becoming his forever family!!!!
The sweetest part to me, is that he has no idea how monumental this date will be. He has no idea that he isn't already legally ours. He has no idea that another life, a much different life, could have been laid before him. He won't have the wounds and scars that he might have had. He will never know the fear and uncertainty of bouncing around in the foster care system. He won't be a long term victim of abuse and neglect. I love that he has no clue how exciting all of this is! Ignorance is bliss in this particular situation.
There's one thing that's bothered me for a while though... People are always saying how great it is what we're doing for him, and I do understand what they mean, but it just doesn't sound right to me. Its not as though Munchkin should be more grateful to us than Jackson should be. And lets be honest, no kid is truly grateful to their parents until they are parents themselves. We chose to take multiple roads and methods when building our family and we did it on purpose. Munchkin is going to reap the benefits of that decision in the long term scheme of things, but it doesn't mean he owes us anything in return. We don't feel as though there is really a difference between the two in how much love there is for each of our boys.
Like I said, I know that's not what people mean, but I would like to make a request. Munchkin is getting older and understanding more and more of what we say. We don't want him to grow up feeling as though he's subject to our charitable generosity, or that he's not really ours, or that he doesn't really belong. My fear is that comments like this in front of him will eventually make him feel that way even though it isn't true. Please be mindful of what you say in front of him. He's my baby as much as Jackson is. If you wouldn't say it about Jackson, please don't say it about Munchkin.
To leave you on a lighter note... Get ready for Facebook to blow up with more than a years worth of Munchkin pictures in the next month or two!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
The Mommy Struggle
As I sit here in my last week of maternity leave, holding a sleeping baby with one arm and typing with the other, I'm thinking on a few conclusions I've come to in the last few days.
The big decision for many parents is, do we figure out if we can afford to stay home with our children, or do we fall in line with the now majority of Americans and put our kids in daycare and go to work? For us, having one of us stay home isn't really a viable option at the moment. At first this reality was heart breaking to me (and still is to an extent), but after this past weekend, I think it might actually be what's best for us at the moment.
We've kept our 19 month old Munchkin in his pre-school daycare throughout my maternity leave, so I hadn't really experienced the full effect of having 2 under 2 for more than a couple hours here and there (and even then, my mom has been helping me a lot). This past Saturday my husband had to work, and I decided to see how well I could handle a 2 month old and a toddler on my own for an entire day.
The day started off rough to begin with. Munchkin is cutting some teeth and he woke up super grumpy. Then Daddy left him... then he had to share Mommy with Jackson... then Mommy had to tell him "no"... then Mommy had to tell him "no" again... and again... and again... and again... You get the idea. For the better part of the first 4 hours of the day we were in a full on screaming, wailing, snot pouring, throwing ourselves on the couch, floor or ottoman, tantrum. Jackson held it together beautifully for a little while and then he cracked too. I found myself thinking, if I can just make it till nap time... and I did. (sigh)
But then the reality hit me... they are both going to wake up! Dear Lord help me!
My mom, poor mom, made the mistake of calling to check on me at that very moment. For a split second the thought ran through my head, "Is proving I can do it really worth it?" Every inch of my mind, body and soul instantly screamed "H*** No!" Needless to say, my mommy came to my rescue and the afternoon went oh so much better than the morning did.
This experience left me feeling really defeated for not sucking it up and doing for one day what so many stay at home moms do every day. After posting my self disappointment on Facebook, many fellow mommies sent me sweet words of support, encouragement and solidarity. After talking with several veteran moms since I've come to this conclusion, none of the options available in our culture are really how God designed all of this to work...
We were not meant to parent in isolation. It really does take a village. We've moved the nuclear family unit far from jobs and extended family and hunkered down in individual boxes in a secluded place called the suburbs. These days its really hard to find true community with others in this fast paced and transient culture.
We were also not meant to out source our parenting responsibility either. That's my main issue with daycare. In moderation I see how it is a good thing (socialization and preparation for school), but its my desire to make sure my husband and I are the primary influences on our children. Some are able to find part time employment and childcare and still balance all of the finances, but it's a difficult puzzle to solve.
So what is the answer? What is the solution? I honestly do not know. We're all just figuring this out as we go and I think the solution is going to look different for everyone. For now, I'm going back to work full time and striving to keep my kids and my family at the top of my priority list, second only to my Jesus, the source of my hope and peace.
The big decision for many parents is, do we figure out if we can afford to stay home with our children, or do we fall in line with the now majority of Americans and put our kids in daycare and go to work? For us, having one of us stay home isn't really a viable option at the moment. At first this reality was heart breaking to me (and still is to an extent), but after this past weekend, I think it might actually be what's best for us at the moment.
We've kept our 19 month old Munchkin in his pre-school daycare throughout my maternity leave, so I hadn't really experienced the full effect of having 2 under 2 for more than a couple hours here and there (and even then, my mom has been helping me a lot). This past Saturday my husband had to work, and I decided to see how well I could handle a 2 month old and a toddler on my own for an entire day.
The day started off rough to begin with. Munchkin is cutting some teeth and he woke up super grumpy. Then Daddy left him... then he had to share Mommy with Jackson... then Mommy had to tell him "no"... then Mommy had to tell him "no" again... and again... and again... and again... You get the idea. For the better part of the first 4 hours of the day we were in a full on screaming, wailing, snot pouring, throwing ourselves on the couch, floor or ottoman, tantrum. Jackson held it together beautifully for a little while and then he cracked too. I found myself thinking, if I can just make it till nap time... and I did. (sigh)
But then the reality hit me... they are both going to wake up! Dear Lord help me!
My mom, poor mom, made the mistake of calling to check on me at that very moment. For a split second the thought ran through my head, "Is proving I can do it really worth it?" Every inch of my mind, body and soul instantly screamed "H*** No!" Needless to say, my mommy came to my rescue and the afternoon went oh so much better than the morning did.
This experience left me feeling really defeated for not sucking it up and doing for one day what so many stay at home moms do every day. After posting my self disappointment on Facebook, many fellow mommies sent me sweet words of support, encouragement and solidarity. After talking with several veteran moms since I've come to this conclusion, none of the options available in our culture are really how God designed all of this to work...
We were not meant to parent in isolation. It really does take a village. We've moved the nuclear family unit far from jobs and extended family and hunkered down in individual boxes in a secluded place called the suburbs. These days its really hard to find true community with others in this fast paced and transient culture.
We were also not meant to out source our parenting responsibility either. That's my main issue with daycare. In moderation I see how it is a good thing (socialization and preparation for school), but its my desire to make sure my husband and I are the primary influences on our children. Some are able to find part time employment and childcare and still balance all of the finances, but it's a difficult puzzle to solve.
So what is the answer? What is the solution? I honestly do not know. We're all just figuring this out as we go and I think the solution is going to look different for everyone. For now, I'm going back to work full time and striving to keep my kids and my family at the top of my priority list, second only to my Jesus, the source of my hope and peace.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
31 feels pretty good
Well, I can say that I survived being pregnant now. I had nearly the whole package too. Morning sickness (lost 10 lbs in the first trimester). Heart burn like you wouldn't believe (I started sleeping sitting up on the couch about 4 or 5 months in and still needed nexium to sleep). Made two separate trips to the ER in the middle of the night, one for a subcorionic (spelling? ) hemorrhage and one for a 2 hour plus esophagus spasm. In the final trimester I started blowing up like a balloon and ended up having pre-eclampsia. The final result was a c section at 38 weeks because of the pre-eclampsia and because little man was breach. Where's my T-shirt, bumper sticker, and coffee mug?
Now here I sit on my birthday, and Jackson's original due date, holding this precious miracle sleeping in my arms. He's perfect and beautiful and I am so in love. It was all completely worth it, though I can't say we're planning to do it again (at least not on purpose). I'm also nearly back to normal so far as the swelling goes and I can sleep in my own bed again without taking nexium (happy dance). You know you were in bad shape when you feel better immediately after a c section than you did before. Jackson is even letting me get a reasonable amount of sleep (I probably just jinxed myself).
Munchkin has now officially been transferred to adoptions! We meet with his new adoption case worker next week and should hopefully have some more information regarding the time frame. His biological mom is still MIA, so the possibility of an open adoption is pretty much off the table.
Munchkin loves his new little brother and has been very good at being gentle with him. I can't believe how big he is now. He's using more and more words. He's showing some interest in using the potty (though I don't know that he's quite ready yet). The toddler tantrum phase has begun though... and Jackson will follow right behind him in another 18 months or so. :-) Yay...
I'm just so very much in love with our sweet little family though! I love both of my boys so much! The process was different with each one. With Munchkin the "birth pains" were more emotional and psychological. With Jackson they were predominantly physical. They are both worth every bit of it. Every curve ball. Every tear. We're not at the end of the adoption journey for Munchkin yet, but we're pretty darn close. We're quickly approaching the light at the end of the tunnel.
Today is a happy day. I have so much to be thankful for. 31 feels pretty good.
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
A Rare Moment
When you're a mother and a wife and you work full time, moments alone are rare. I'm currently enjoying just such a moment. My husband is teaching the youth tonight at church. Munchkin and I stayed home for a scheduled visit with his CPS case worker (LOVE her and how hard she's worked for our Munchkin!!). Munchkin passed out about 30 minutes ago. When its bedtime for this little guy, he doesn't mess around. Give him his binkie and his blankie and he's out without a fuss. We're not really looking forward to phasing out the binkie... Dear Lord help us all.
So, what am I doing with this precious time I've been given this evening? I thought I would give you all an update and ask for your prayers on a few things.
I'm 32 weeks pregnant now, almost 33 weeks. Some women breeze through all of this, and then some of us, myself included, are quite uncomfortable most of the time. I can't eat a full meal (or I might throw up), I can't eat sushi or have a glass of wine (for obvious reasons), I can't sleep flat (indigestion), I can't sleep on my back (blood flow to the baby), I can't bend over to pick up things (I am likely the most awkward moving person I know at the moment, and you don't realize how often you bend over until you can't), I have a hard time putting on my own socks or clipping my toenails (can't reach them because of this massive belly), I get out of breath walking from one room to another (lung capacity diminishing by the second), holding Munchkin is interesting (my lap is disappearing as well and he's not super gentle, what toddler is), I have to wear dresses now (even maternity jeans at this point are super uncomfortable), I now have lovely kankles... There are actually much more unpleasant side effects that I won't go into because it could get arguably inappropriate, potentially hilarious, but inappropriate.
All that said, I'm glad to have this experience. I wouldn't trade it for anything. We've had a rough and emotional process with Munchkin, which has been more than worth it. Now we're having a rough and emotional, though different, process with Jackson, and again, I know it will be more than worth it. I can't wait to meet him face to face. I wonder often what he'll look like and who's traits he will have, mine or Jeremy's or a mixture of both. Its like a real life science experiment!
On the Munchkin front. Things are still moving in the adoption direction. I just had a good visit with his CPS case worker and everything seems to be going really well. Praise God!!! He's going to let us keep our little man!!! He's walking confidently now and trying to run and keep up with the big kids. He says words like "uh oh, wow, ball, whoa, more, bye bye, mama, dada..." That's all I can remember at the moment. He's learning to feed himself pretty well. He knows where his belly button and his nose are and he wants to show you all the time. Be careful though, if he shows you his belly button, he'll want to see yours too. Its amazing to watch him grow and see his personality develop.
There's a sad side to this story at the moment though. Munchkin's biological mom has run away from her foster home. We don't know exactly where she is or if they're going to be able to find her any time soon. She has been gone now for 2 1/2 weeks. I worry about her, she's just a kid. I hope and pray that she's safe. If she doesn't re-surface before we finalize the adoption, an open adoption is obviously not going to happen, which makes me very sad. We've set up a picture sharing site for her, and if we can get an email address for her, we'll still try to share pictures with her. If you're the praying kind, please pray for her. I would really like for her to get her life in order and actually become a positive part of Munchkin's life. That is still my hope and will continue to be.
She carried him inside of her for 9 months, the same way I'm carrying Jackson. She loves this little guy, even if she doesn't know how to show it in the proper way. Having this pregnancy experience gives me even more compassion for her.
Ok, I only have about 20-30 minutes left of solitude... time to enjoy one of my addictions that I'm allowing myself because I'm pregnant... rootbeer float!!
Monday, January 5, 2015
A Year in Review
2014 will always be remembered in our family for sure. Here are a few notable moments:
-January-
We had a racially charged (from their side, not ours) confrontation with Munchkin's biological family via CPS conference call. A few of them were not happy in the beginning about the fact that we're very pasty white in complexion. It made us a little uneasy about future dealings with them, but it turned out not to be a huge problem after all, thank goodness. http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/01/up-down-and-round-and-round.html
-February-
We did respite care for a couple of toddler girls... which made us really re-think our family planning goals. Wow... we thought we wanted a sibling group of 2 or 3 dropped on us all at once... in addition to Munchkin... God knew better what we could handle of course and closed all doors that could have potentially led to that scenario.
http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/02/life-happens-perspectives-change.html
Jeremy got his college ring!!
-May-
We were asked to seriously consider taking in Munchkin's mom as a co-placement in our home when it was looking like she was likely to get him back. Our agency advised against it and CPS came to a point where they agreed with our agency. In retrospect, the right choice was made, it very likely would not have gone well. Again, God knew better was was best for Munchkin and what was best for us.
http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/05/fork-in-road.html
Munchkin took swimming lessons and loved it!!
-June-
I attended the matching picnic for adoptive families and children eligible for adoption... very awkward. We didn't end up submitting a home study on any of the kids there, but it sure opened my eyes to the need and has significantly influenced our plans for the somewhat distant future.
http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/06/awkward-sad-and-inspiring-all-in-one.html
-July-
We found out that we're pregnant!!! Morning sickness among other first trimester symptoms immediately came into full effect, which is one reason there was a rather large gap between blog posts at this time. Life is beautiful, right? :) My inability to function sealed Munchkin's selection of Jeremy as his favorite, which on the plus side I know will be helpful come March. Poor Jeremy though... he's a trooper and took very good care of both me and Munchkin.
-October-
Munchkin's mom was given a 6 month extension on the case, but in the same day the topic of an open adoption was laid on the table and gears on both sides started shifting. Her lawyer changing gears was the most significant and future altering piece of the puzzle.
http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/10/hopeful-anticipation.html
Munchkin had a birthday and took his first steps!!
We welcomed a new pastor and his family to our church. I'm really looking forward to seeing how God is going to use him to lead our church family and guide us in reaching out to our community.
-November-
Munchkin's mom verbally agreed to an open adoption and we found out that we're having a boy!!!
http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/11/the-ball-is-rolling.html
We celebrated having Munchkin in our home for a full year.
Jeremy got to go hunting with his dad for the first time, who shot his first dear, and we now have a freezer full enough to last us all year long.
I began sleeping on the couch... oh indigestion exaggerated by pregnancy, and seasonal allergies, how I loath you.
-December-
Both of Munchkin's parents signed relinquishment papers!!! CPS and our agency told us it was safe to get excited. :)
http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/12/lots-and-lots-of-happy-news.html
Jeremy and I celebrated 3 years of marriage!!
Deep breath... Here we come 2015! We'll welcome Jackson into our family in March and hopefully finalize the adoption of Munchkin by May. Jeremy will graduate in May as well. We have a lot to look forward to and a lot to be excited about. We might not get to sleep for much of it, but 2015 should be another memorable year. God only knows what all lies in store for us and our growing family.
-January-
We had a racially charged (from their side, not ours) confrontation with Munchkin's biological family via CPS conference call. A few of them were not happy in the beginning about the fact that we're very pasty white in complexion. It made us a little uneasy about future dealings with them, but it turned out not to be a huge problem after all, thank goodness. http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/01/up-down-and-round-and-round.html
-February-
We did respite care for a couple of toddler girls... which made us really re-think our family planning goals. Wow... we thought we wanted a sibling group of 2 or 3 dropped on us all at once... in addition to Munchkin... God knew better what we could handle of course and closed all doors that could have potentially led to that scenario.
http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/02/life-happens-perspectives-change.html
Jeremy got his college ring!!
-May-
We were asked to seriously consider taking in Munchkin's mom as a co-placement in our home when it was looking like she was likely to get him back. Our agency advised against it and CPS came to a point where they agreed with our agency. In retrospect, the right choice was made, it very likely would not have gone well. Again, God knew better was was best for Munchkin and what was best for us.
http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/05/fork-in-road.html
Munchkin took swimming lessons and loved it!!
-June-
I attended the matching picnic for adoptive families and children eligible for adoption... very awkward. We didn't end up submitting a home study on any of the kids there, but it sure opened my eyes to the need and has significantly influenced our plans for the somewhat distant future.
http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/06/awkward-sad-and-inspiring-all-in-one.html
-July-
We found out that we're pregnant!!! Morning sickness among other first trimester symptoms immediately came into full effect, which is one reason there was a rather large gap between blog posts at this time. Life is beautiful, right? :) My inability to function sealed Munchkin's selection of Jeremy as his favorite, which on the plus side I know will be helpful come March. Poor Jeremy though... he's a trooper and took very good care of both me and Munchkin.
-October-
Munchkin's mom was given a 6 month extension on the case, but in the same day the topic of an open adoption was laid on the table and gears on both sides started shifting. Her lawyer changing gears was the most significant and future altering piece of the puzzle.
http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/10/hopeful-anticipation.html
Munchkin had a birthday and took his first steps!!
We welcomed a new pastor and his family to our church. I'm really looking forward to seeing how God is going to use him to lead our church family and guide us in reaching out to our community.
-November-
Munchkin's mom verbally agreed to an open adoption and we found out that we're having a boy!!!
http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/11/the-ball-is-rolling.html
We celebrated having Munchkin in our home for a full year.
Jeremy got to go hunting with his dad for the first time, who shot his first dear, and we now have a freezer full enough to last us all year long.
I began sleeping on the couch... oh indigestion exaggerated by pregnancy, and seasonal allergies, how I loath you.
-December-
Both of Munchkin's parents signed relinquishment papers!!! CPS and our agency told us it was safe to get excited. :)
http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/12/lots-and-lots-of-happy-news.html
Jeremy and I celebrated 3 years of marriage!!
Deep breath... Here we come 2015! We'll welcome Jackson into our family in March and hopefully finalize the adoption of Munchkin by May. Jeremy will graduate in May as well. We have a lot to look forward to and a lot to be excited about. We might not get to sleep for much of it, but 2015 should be another memorable year. God only knows what all lies in store for us and our growing family.
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Lots and Lots of Happy News!!
I just received word yesterday that both of Munchkin's parents have signed relinquishment papers!! He's one step closer to being a Davis (on paper I mean, he's already ours in our hearts)!!
There's a 30 day window for relatives to appeal, and though its not very likely in our case, we still have to keep it in the back of our minds. We got some updated information on how the timeline is going to play out now. The case should be transferred to the adoption division in either January or February, and we should, in theory, be able to consummate the adoption in April or May after Jackson is born! We might be done with everything by this summer... I'm still wrapping my head around it.
I'm so proud of Munchkin's mom. This had to have been an incredibly difficult decision. We're taking a short trip this month and leaving Munchkin with my mom for a few days, and I was just feeling guilty for leaving him for just a long weekend. I can't imagine how hard it would be to sign away your parental rights forever, even if you know its in his best interests. She made a very difficult decision today and deserves to be commended for it. She told his case worker that she really likes us, appreciates that we care about her too, and knows he's safe and loved with us. She also told his case worker that she knows this isn't good bye forever, and is really appreciative of our willingness to do an open adoption. I am so incredibly hopeful for her and I'm looking forward to building a friendship with her over the next 17 years.
Today is mine and Jeremy's 3rd wedding anniversary. It seems like its been longer than that (in a good way). I can't imagine my life without him in it, and trying to makes me cry (and probably would even if I wasn't pregnant and hormonal). He is an amazing man after God's own heart, he loves me so well, he's a fantastic father, a wonderful husband, he works hard at everything he does, and I'm so proud to call him mine. These three years have been quite an adventure. Its been fun, happy, sad, stressful, exhausting, joyful, uncertain, up and down and all over the place. I wouldn't want to do this life with anyone else. My cup overflows. I love you Sweetheart.
There's a 30 day window for relatives to appeal, and though its not very likely in our case, we still have to keep it in the back of our minds. We got some updated information on how the timeline is going to play out now. The case should be transferred to the adoption division in either January or February, and we should, in theory, be able to consummate the adoption in April or May after Jackson is born! We might be done with everything by this summer... I'm still wrapping my head around it.
I'm so proud of Munchkin's mom. This had to have been an incredibly difficult decision. We're taking a short trip this month and leaving Munchkin with my mom for a few days, and I was just feeling guilty for leaving him for just a long weekend. I can't imagine how hard it would be to sign away your parental rights forever, even if you know its in his best interests. She made a very difficult decision today and deserves to be commended for it. She told his case worker that she really likes us, appreciates that we care about her too, and knows he's safe and loved with us. She also told his case worker that she knows this isn't good bye forever, and is really appreciative of our willingness to do an open adoption. I am so incredibly hopeful for her and I'm looking forward to building a friendship with her over the next 17 years.
Today is mine and Jeremy's 3rd wedding anniversary. It seems like its been longer than that (in a good way). I can't imagine my life without him in it, and trying to makes me cry (and probably would even if I wasn't pregnant and hormonal). He is an amazing man after God's own heart, he loves me so well, he's a fantastic father, a wonderful husband, he works hard at everything he does, and I'm so proud to call him mine. These three years have been quite an adventure. Its been fun, happy, sad, stressful, exhausting, joyful, uncertain, up and down and all over the place. I wouldn't want to do this life with anyone else. My cup overflows. I love you Sweetheart.
Friday, November 21, 2014
There's Something About November
Jeremy had a home visit with Munchkin's CPS case worker today. The current plan is to either get relinquishment papers signed and submitted for the court hearing in January, or to terminate parental rights in February if they won't sign the relinquishment papers. Then the case will be transferred to the adoption side of CPS and we'll have another status hearing four months from either relinquishment or termination, and then we'll process the adoption and consummate. We're probably looking at close to a year before everything is final, but it feels like now its all just going through the process and we don't have to worry as much about losing him. (sigh) It'll probably be around November of next year... We got him November of last year... November might be come a bit sentimental time for us in a lot of ways.
Another fun happening today... We're getting a very temporary foster placement tonight. Another new born straight from the NICU, little bitty guy. Another family in our agency, who has the two older siblings already, and are planning to take this little man as well, just moved to a new house. Until they get all of their paper work and license updated, they're operating under a temporary license with their current placements. The catch is they can't take any new placements under the temporary license. They should have all that worked out by Wednesday though, and we're going to keep the new baby until then.
It should make for a fun weekend. We'll see how we fare with a toddler and an infant. We'll see how Munchkin does as a big brother. It'll be like a sweet little test run so we'll have a better idea what we're getting ourselves into in March when Jackson arrives.
Here's to a life of adventure. :) My heart is full and my God is good.
Another fun happening today... We're getting a very temporary foster placement tonight. Another new born straight from the NICU, little bitty guy. Another family in our agency, who has the two older siblings already, and are planning to take this little man as well, just moved to a new house. Until they get all of their paper work and license updated, they're operating under a temporary license with their current placements. The catch is they can't take any new placements under the temporary license. They should have all that worked out by Wednesday though, and we're going to keep the new baby until then.
It should make for a fun weekend. We'll see how we fare with a toddler and an infant. We'll see how Munchkin does as a big brother. It'll be like a sweet little test run so we'll have a better idea what we're getting ourselves into in March when Jackson arrives.
Here's to a life of adventure. :) My heart is full and my God is good.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
The Ball is Rolling
Ok, I've left you all hanging for a while... The meeting that was supposed to happen a few weeks ago got postponed to this past Tuesday (11/4) for reasons I won't go into. Because of some of the things that transpired in the past month after my last blog entry, we were not sure this meeting was going to go well at all. Munchkin's case trajectory was definitely moving toward us adopting him, it was now just going to be a question as to whether or not Munchkin's mom was going to relinquish her rights or if they were going to have to go through the process of terminating her rights.
We still hoped that she would do the right thing for him on her own, and if she did, we'd still consider an open adoption. Low and behold... she verbally made a beautifully self sacrificing and loving decision for her sweet baby and agreed to enter an open adoption with us. We all cried and she cried and we all told her how proud we were of her. What could have been a very ugly and heart breaking meeting, turned into something beautiful and full of hope.
Nothing is in writing yet, but the ball is rolling in the right direction. If all goes well, though we don't have a time line yet, this could mean getting to officially adopt Munchkin much sooner than expected.
In other news... We're having a Boy! Jackson Asher Davis. Munchkin is going to have a little brother. We've already picked out his nursery decor, and I have some plans for Munchkin's room too. :) Now we just need to finish clearing out our spare room, do some painting, and save up to buy some of the things I've registered for.
We still hoped that she would do the right thing for him on her own, and if she did, we'd still consider an open adoption. Low and behold... she verbally made a beautifully self sacrificing and loving decision for her sweet baby and agreed to enter an open adoption with us. We all cried and she cried and we all told her how proud we were of her. What could have been a very ugly and heart breaking meeting, turned into something beautiful and full of hope.
Nothing is in writing yet, but the ball is rolling in the right direction. If all goes well, though we don't have a time line yet, this could mean getting to officially adopt Munchkin much sooner than expected.
In other news... We're having a Boy! Jackson Asher Davis. Munchkin is going to have a little brother. We've already picked out his nursery decor, and I have some plans for Munchkin's room too. :) Now we just need to finish clearing out our spare room, do some painting, and save up to buy some of the things I've registered for.
Friday, October 3, 2014
Hopeful Anticipation
We took Munchkin to his trial hearing this last week. Everything went as expected for the most part during the actual court proceedings, a six month extension was granted. The events that happened before and after though, went better than expected.
We got to spend some quality time with his grandma and great grandma prior to his hearing. They got to see how attached he is to my husband (I'm seriously chopped liver when he's around) and how loved he really is in our home. They asked us, point blank, if we wanted to adopt Munchkin. Of course we told them we did and that we would be more than willing to consider an open adoption if that was something that Munchkin's mom was willing to consider. They were surprisingly interested in this possibility and proceeded to encourage his mom to consider it as an option as well. Munchkin's case worker mentioned it to his mom's attorney and she was also very interested in the possibility and is now advising his mom to consider it. It is by no means a done deal, but its now very much so on the table for discussion and consideration. A routine meeting has been scheduled for next week that will include Munchkin's mom and her family, all the case workers and attorneys involved, and us, the foster family. The possibility of an open adoption will likely be a major topic of discussion. I'm on pins and needles!!
An open adoption has been our preferred outcome from the beginning. We love this little guy and as I've expressed in previous blog entries, we have a heart for his young mother. We want her to have an opportunity to overcome her situation and build a better life for herself. Her chances of doing just that are much greater if she does not have to care and provide for a small child while trying to finish high school. Please pray that we can come to a mutually beneficial agreement and that this dream can become a reality! Its been so obvious that God's hand has been in this from the beginning and he's still in complete control. No matter what happens next week, pray that we continue to hold on to that truth.
In other news...
We go week after next to find out if we're having a boy or a girl. Jeremy is convinced its a girl. We shall see... I'm just really anxious to get to plan and shop and fill out our registry. Having more than 8 hours notice before getting a baby delivered to your door is somewhat foreign to me... I actually get to have everything I need ready and set up before the baby gets here this time! And I have an estimated arrival date! All new realities for the Davis house hold.
Munchkin's birthday is this month!! We're having a small party for him with just family and a few friends. The one year old birthday cake mess is going to be fun!! Yet another photo opp that I can't share will you yet. Hopefully I'll be able to soon though!
We got to spend some quality time with his grandma and great grandma prior to his hearing. They got to see how attached he is to my husband (I'm seriously chopped liver when he's around) and how loved he really is in our home. They asked us, point blank, if we wanted to adopt Munchkin. Of course we told them we did and that we would be more than willing to consider an open adoption if that was something that Munchkin's mom was willing to consider. They were surprisingly interested in this possibility and proceeded to encourage his mom to consider it as an option as well. Munchkin's case worker mentioned it to his mom's attorney and she was also very interested in the possibility and is now advising his mom to consider it. It is by no means a done deal, but its now very much so on the table for discussion and consideration. A routine meeting has been scheduled for next week that will include Munchkin's mom and her family, all the case workers and attorneys involved, and us, the foster family. The possibility of an open adoption will likely be a major topic of discussion. I'm on pins and needles!!
An open adoption has been our preferred outcome from the beginning. We love this little guy and as I've expressed in previous blog entries, we have a heart for his young mother. We want her to have an opportunity to overcome her situation and build a better life for herself. Her chances of doing just that are much greater if she does not have to care and provide for a small child while trying to finish high school. Please pray that we can come to a mutually beneficial agreement and that this dream can become a reality! Its been so obvious that God's hand has been in this from the beginning and he's still in complete control. No matter what happens next week, pray that we continue to hold on to that truth.
In other news...
We go week after next to find out if we're having a boy or a girl. Jeremy is convinced its a girl. We shall see... I'm just really anxious to get to plan and shop and fill out our registry. Having more than 8 hours notice before getting a baby delivered to your door is somewhat foreign to me... I actually get to have everything I need ready and set up before the baby gets here this time! And I have an estimated arrival date! All new realities for the Davis house hold.
Munchkin's birthday is this month!! We're having a small party for him with just family and a few friends. The one year old birthday cake mess is going to be fun!! Yet another photo opp that I can't share will you yet. Hopefully I'll be able to soon though!
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Its been a while...
Life has gotten a bit crazy... hence the length of time between my last post and now. I have a lot to catch you up on, but I'll do my best not to get long winded.
Well, Munchkin's case is still somewhat up in the air. His lawyer and his attorney are truly fighting for his best interests, which they firmly believe to be for him to stay with us indefinitely. His mom's attorney is fighting hard for her too though. We have a trial hearing early next month and we'll see what happens. The most likely outcome is that the judge will give his mom a 6 month extension.
Keep our Munchkin in your prayers please. Pray that God give the judge wisdom and clarity to make the right decision and that God gives us the strength to accept what ever ruling he throws at us. And pray for Munchkin's mom too. We don't want her to get him back, but her situation is also really sad and difficult. She's likely going to age out of the foster care system herself. My prayer is that God gives her wisdom to do what's right for Munchkin, and that he gives her the desire and the strength to overcome her situation and make a better life for herself than the example she grew up in.
Mean while, Munchkin is doing awesome! He's making the switch to table food from baby food. He loves Mexican rice. And he's starting to sleep through the night more (spoke a little too soon on this one... drafted this last week and of course he started cutting two new teeth and all of that good sleep went out the window)!!! He's almost walking, getting so so close. We'll soon be having a birthday party for him before you know it.
Another new development is that I'm now 16 weeks pregnant!!! I'm through the first trimester now, thank goodness. It was a little rough, not gonna lie. Had a bit of morning sickness (still having some and hopeing we're near the end of that) and one 3:00 am scare that landed me in the ER. It turned out to be nothing serious, but it did mean that I couldn't pick up Munchkin for 2 weeks. Let me tell you, being sick for 2 to 3 months straight and then not being able to pick up your child who's not walking yet, its not what I would call convenient. And poor Jeremy was not mentally prepared for the toll that first trimester was going to take on me, or for the amount of work as a result that was going to fall on him temporarily. I'm feeling much better now though (again, spoke too soon on this one...), except my appetite is still a bit hit or miss. I'm a little concerned (for the first time ever in my entire life) that I'm not gaining enough weight. Every check up and ultra sound has had healthy and normal results though, so praise God for that.
There's a slew of other changes that have taken place and are taking place in our lives. Jeremy's accepted a new position at work that we're really excited about. Our church just hired a new pastor. Him and his wife are adorable, and we're really looking forward to getting to know them and their sweet family. My mom retired from working in the church office and is now "full time" grandma... I think that's most of it.
So until I get another spare minute to write an update, may God bless you and yours!!
Well, Munchkin's case is still somewhat up in the air. His lawyer and his attorney are truly fighting for his best interests, which they firmly believe to be for him to stay with us indefinitely. His mom's attorney is fighting hard for her too though. We have a trial hearing early next month and we'll see what happens. The most likely outcome is that the judge will give his mom a 6 month extension.
Keep our Munchkin in your prayers please. Pray that God give the judge wisdom and clarity to make the right decision and that God gives us the strength to accept what ever ruling he throws at us. And pray for Munchkin's mom too. We don't want her to get him back, but her situation is also really sad and difficult. She's likely going to age out of the foster care system herself. My prayer is that God gives her wisdom to do what's right for Munchkin, and that he gives her the desire and the strength to overcome her situation and make a better life for herself than the example she grew up in.
Mean while, Munchkin is doing awesome! He's making the switch to table food from baby food. He loves Mexican rice. And he's starting to sleep through the night more (spoke a little too soon on this one... drafted this last week and of course he started cutting two new teeth and all of that good sleep went out the window)!!! He's almost walking, getting so so close. We'll soon be having a birthday party for him before you know it.
Another new development is that I'm now 16 weeks pregnant!!! I'm through the first trimester now, thank goodness. It was a little rough, not gonna lie. Had a bit of morning sickness (still having some and hopeing we're near the end of that) and one 3:00 am scare that landed me in the ER. It turned out to be nothing serious, but it did mean that I couldn't pick up Munchkin for 2 weeks. Let me tell you, being sick for 2 to 3 months straight and then not being able to pick up your child who's not walking yet, its not what I would call convenient. And poor Jeremy was not mentally prepared for the toll that first trimester was going to take on me, or for the amount of work as a result that was going to fall on him temporarily. I'm feeling much better now though (again, spoke too soon on this one...), except my appetite is still a bit hit or miss. I'm a little concerned (for the first time ever in my entire life) that I'm not gaining enough weight. Every check up and ultra sound has had healthy and normal results though, so praise God for that.
There's a slew of other changes that have taken place and are taking place in our lives. Jeremy's accepted a new position at work that we're really excited about. Our church just hired a new pastor. Him and his wife are adorable, and we're really looking forward to getting to know them and their sweet family. My mom retired from working in the church office and is now "full time" grandma... I think that's most of it.
So until I get another spare minute to write an update, may God bless you and yours!!
Monday, June 23, 2014
Awkward, Sad and Inspiring All in One
I had an interesting new experience this weekend. I went to a "matching picnic." It was an event put on by some local service organizations for foster kids eligible for adoption and prospective adoptive families to mix and mingle over some games, activities and lunch.
We'll start with the awkward:
1. Flying solo - Jeremy was not able to get off work for the event so I was there alone and most of the adoptive families were represented as couples. And I felt really odd trying to approach kids on my own to try to get to know them a little.
2. Inherent discomfort - It was like going to a mixer for singles except a whole lot more was a stake. If you fear rejection from a potential significant other, just try to imagine how vulnerable these kids felt about the possibility of rejection from a potential mom or dad. It was awkward on both sides.
Next we'll go to the sad:
1. The majority of the kids there were teenagers and pre-teens - Teenagers have such a hard time getting adopted. At some point they are given the option to take themselves out of the running and just chose to age out of the system alone. But these kids were still showing up, some less than a year from turning 18, to events like these in hopes that someone would want them. It just broke my heart. Made me want to change our objective and license parameters. Jeremy and I have talked about it, and we do want to figure out how to adopt a teenager at some point, even if its not right now.
2. Preferential Treatment - The majority of the couples there looking to adopt were hovering over the the younger kids. I ended up just hanging back and observing for the most part. I refused to join in the competition for their attention and affection. Little hearts and minds hung in the balance here, not to mention all of the teenagers also watching this obvious preferential treatment.
Lets wrap up the summation with inspiring:
While I was being my wall flower self, this young woman, not quite 17 years old, approached and engaged me (and many other couples) in conversation multiple times. She was very purposeful, sweet, transparent and genuine. She was a breath of fresh air in this room full of people with not so hidden agendas. Among the couples on the prowl (they're doing something good, I know, that's just how it felt), oblivious youngsters, attention seeking pre-teens, and skeptical teenagers, she was a breath of fresh air. I spoke with a few other couples and they felt the same way about her.
She shared her story with me, how she ended up in foster care and the way that has impacted her life to date. She shared her goals and dreams and aspirations. She plans to take full advantage of the financial assistance the state will provide for her college education. She shared her reservations about and simultaneous hopes for an adoptive family for her and her younger sister.
We both admitted how awkward this whole thing really was for everyone. I think it felt really good for both of us to say that out loud.
She asked me real questions about myself, like what I did for a living, where I went to college, what area I lived in, what age kids I was licensed for, if I currently had any kids, and if I was wanting to adopt. Blew me away! Won me over! Made me want to take her home even though I feel way to young to be her mom! I could see the disappointment in her face when I told her we were only licensed through age 10...
I left that afternoon questioning everything. My stomach in knots. What do I do with this? What was the purpose of God crossing our paths? I'm not sure what I was expecting to encounter at the picnic, but that wasn't it.
Jeremy and I are still processing and praying through this. Right now we're moving forward with our current plans and asking God to make it really clear if he wants us to shift directions. We are most definitely considering fostering/adopting teenagers later on when we have more parenting experience. My fear is that we'll wear ourselves out and not follow through on that though. We shall see I guess. If you would keep us in your prayers. Pray that we listen to God and follow his Spirit's direction as we navigate the world of CPS.
We'll start with the awkward:
1. Flying solo - Jeremy was not able to get off work for the event so I was there alone and most of the adoptive families were represented as couples. And I felt really odd trying to approach kids on my own to try to get to know them a little.
2. Inherent discomfort - It was like going to a mixer for singles except a whole lot more was a stake. If you fear rejection from a potential significant other, just try to imagine how vulnerable these kids felt about the possibility of rejection from a potential mom or dad. It was awkward on both sides.
Next we'll go to the sad:
1. The majority of the kids there were teenagers and pre-teens - Teenagers have such a hard time getting adopted. At some point they are given the option to take themselves out of the running and just chose to age out of the system alone. But these kids were still showing up, some less than a year from turning 18, to events like these in hopes that someone would want them. It just broke my heart. Made me want to change our objective and license parameters. Jeremy and I have talked about it, and we do want to figure out how to adopt a teenager at some point, even if its not right now.
2. Preferential Treatment - The majority of the couples there looking to adopt were hovering over the the younger kids. I ended up just hanging back and observing for the most part. I refused to join in the competition for their attention and affection. Little hearts and minds hung in the balance here, not to mention all of the teenagers also watching this obvious preferential treatment.
Lets wrap up the summation with inspiring:
While I was being my wall flower self, this young woman, not quite 17 years old, approached and engaged me (and many other couples) in conversation multiple times. She was very purposeful, sweet, transparent and genuine. She was a breath of fresh air in this room full of people with not so hidden agendas. Among the couples on the prowl (they're doing something good, I know, that's just how it felt), oblivious youngsters, attention seeking pre-teens, and skeptical teenagers, she was a breath of fresh air. I spoke with a few other couples and they felt the same way about her.
She shared her story with me, how she ended up in foster care and the way that has impacted her life to date. She shared her goals and dreams and aspirations. She plans to take full advantage of the financial assistance the state will provide for her college education. She shared her reservations about and simultaneous hopes for an adoptive family for her and her younger sister.
We both admitted how awkward this whole thing really was for everyone. I think it felt really good for both of us to say that out loud.
She asked me real questions about myself, like what I did for a living, where I went to college, what area I lived in, what age kids I was licensed for, if I currently had any kids, and if I was wanting to adopt. Blew me away! Won me over! Made me want to take her home even though I feel way to young to be her mom! I could see the disappointment in her face when I told her we were only licensed through age 10...
I left that afternoon questioning everything. My stomach in knots. What do I do with this? What was the purpose of God crossing our paths? I'm not sure what I was expecting to encounter at the picnic, but that wasn't it.
Jeremy and I are still processing and praying through this. Right now we're moving forward with our current plans and asking God to make it really clear if he wants us to shift directions. We are most definitely considering fostering/adopting teenagers later on when we have more parenting experience. My fear is that we'll wear ourselves out and not follow through on that though. We shall see I guess. If you would keep us in your prayers. Pray that we listen to God and follow his Spirit's direction as we navigate the world of CPS.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Jeremiah 29:11 - My Life Verse
I had a really hard time finding a title for this post. I've been mulling over it for a few days now. Jeremiah 29:11 pretty much sums up my life and its what I cling to when there are too many variables for me to plan in my OCD sort of way. It seems appropriate today as well.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
New International Version (NIV)
Back in November we were told that we were "selected" as an adoptive placement for a sibling group of two, a 3 year old boy and a 6 year old girl. Then a few days later we were told there had been a mistake and we were not actually selected, we had just made the short list (final four families). Next there was a week of waiting to find out the final decision. The morning we found out we were not selected was the morning of the day before Thanksgiving. That afternoon we got the call for Munchkin needing a foster placement and we picked him up that night. Complete devastation and hopelessness to adrenaline rush and joy all in less than 24 hours.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
New International Version (NIV)
Back in November we were told that we were "selected" as an adoptive placement for a sibling group of two, a 3 year old boy and a 6 year old girl. Then a few days later we were told there had been a mistake and we were not actually selected, we had just made the short list (final four families). Next there was a week of waiting to find out the final decision. The morning we found out we were not selected was the morning of the day before Thanksgiving. That afternoon we got the call for Munchkin needing a foster placement and we picked him up that night. Complete devastation and hopelessness to adrenaline rush and joy all in less than 24 hours.
Fast forward 6 months... Last Friday afternoon I got a call from our agency letting us know that the adoptive placement that had been selected for this sibling group had fallen through and wasn't going to work out after all and that they were taking home studies for these two again. They wanted to know if we wanted to throw our names in the hat again. I won't get into all of the reasons why it didn't work out with the other family, but rest assured, it was nothing scary enough to deter us. So of course we said yes! Even though we've never met these children and had not even seen a picture of them until last week, for a blip in time back in November, they were ours.
My heart is currently aching for them with sorrow over the hurtful situation they find themselves in, and with desire to bring them home if ours is the home God has planned for them. The rejection of a family that is supposed to be your "forever family" as CPS calls it, has to be incredibly painful.
We also have our home study submitted on a few other single children at the moment. Lots of things up in the air. I've started an IKEA shopping list for each of them, because I'm a nut like that, and want to be prepared in some fashion for the many possible combinations and outcomes. That and Pentrist curb my need to plan a bit. If anyone is interested, we're trying to sell our pool table to make a little more room for kiddos.
And I'm still keeping to my goal of living in the moment and enjoying the in between! Munchkin loved getting in the pool for his first swimming lesson!! So much cuteness! We have a fearless little dare devil on our hands! It kills me that I can't post a pic or video clip.
That's all I've got for now folks. We'll keep you posted.
We also have our home study submitted on a few other single children at the moment. Lots of things up in the air. I've started an IKEA shopping list for each of them, because I'm a nut like that, and want to be prepared in some fashion for the many possible combinations and outcomes. That and Pentrist curb my need to plan a bit. If anyone is interested, we're trying to sell our pool table to make a little more room for kiddos.
And I'm still keeping to my goal of living in the moment and enjoying the in between! Munchkin loved getting in the pool for his first swimming lesson!! So much cuteness! We have a fearless little dare devil on our hands! It kills me that I can't post a pic or video clip.
That's all I've got for now folks. We'll keep you posted.
Friday, May 30, 2014
Summer Time!!
For those of you who I don't talk to regularly and give updates to personally, we're still in limbo with Munchkin. The hard decision we were going to have to make mentioned in my last post has been taken off our plate of things to consider for the moment. We still have no idea which way this is going to go. We have a pretty good idea that we'll for sure have him through his first birthday (in the fall) but you know as well as I do at this point that could change at any minute.
We're ready for summer time in the Davis house. We got Munchkin an infant life jacket, some poop catching baby swim trunks, an awesome little fishin hat, some baby sun screen... now all we need is for things to warm up enough that the water isn't too shockingly cold for his first swim. Crazy Texas weather. We've got him signed up for parent/child swim lessons at the Y!!! Soooooo excited!!! My dad's going to get his boat all fixed up and ready to go and we're looking at going camping near the end of the summer with some friends.
Life is good. Learning to have peace in limbo and enjoy every moment of the in between.
We're ready for summer time in the Davis house. We got Munchkin an infant life jacket, some poop catching baby swim trunks, an awesome little fishin hat, some baby sun screen... now all we need is for things to warm up enough that the water isn't too shockingly cold for his first swim. Crazy Texas weather. We've got him signed up for parent/child swim lessons at the Y!!! Soooooo excited!!! My dad's going to get his boat all fixed up and ready to go and we're looking at going camping near the end of the summer with some friends.
Life is good. Learning to have peace in limbo and enjoy every moment of the in between.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Fork in the Road
There are a lot of things I don't really want to do, but I know its right, and I know I should, so I do them. I don't always want to go to work and be responsible for multi-million dollar projects, but I need to earn a living for myself and my family, and I want to leave a legacy of hard work for my kids. Sometimes, I'm so tired at the end of the day that I just want to fall into bed, but I take the time to brush my teeth anyway, because I don't want to get a cavity. Sometimes I want to be lazy, but I take the time to love my husband in the way he receives it best, acts of service, because I love him and I want him to know it and feel it. I always want ice cream, always, but I don't even buy it at the grocery store because I know I would eat it and I know its not good for my health. There are hundreds of things daily that we all do, not because we want to, but because we're responsible and considerate people.
So the question today is not about what I want to do. The question today is about what I should or should not do. If I based every decision on what I wanted to do or not do, my life would be defined by selfishness and in the end would turn into a very destructive pattern to be perfectly honest. What I want is not always good for me or anyone else.
My husband and I have a very big decision before us this morning that we are conferencing with our foster/adopt agency about in just a couple hours. If you happen to come across this blog today, please say a prayer for us. Pray that we follow God in this and not our own selfish agenda. Pray that God would give us courage, clarity, discernment and wisdom. We want to get out of the boat and walk on the water toward our Savior, but only if he's calling us to in this particular situation, only if this is where he is truly leading. To be perfectly honest, we're a bit scared of either of the two possible outcomes this morning. Both scenarios could include an element of sacrifice and/or loss that we had not previously factored into our plans.
So the question today is not about what I want to do. The question today is about what I should or should not do. If I based every decision on what I wanted to do or not do, my life would be defined by selfishness and in the end would turn into a very destructive pattern to be perfectly honest. What I want is not always good for me or anyone else.
My husband and I have a very big decision before us this morning that we are conferencing with our foster/adopt agency about in just a couple hours. If you happen to come across this blog today, please say a prayer for us. Pray that we follow God in this and not our own selfish agenda. Pray that God would give us courage, clarity, discernment and wisdom. We want to get out of the boat and walk on the water toward our Savior, but only if he's calling us to in this particular situation, only if this is where he is truly leading. To be perfectly honest, we're a bit scared of either of the two possible outcomes this morning. Both scenarios could include an element of sacrifice and/or loss that we had not previously factored into our plans.
Friday, April 25, 2014
No News is Good News, Right? The Statuesque on Hold...
Waiting... waiting... waiting...
We know we're going to have Munchkin through the summer and that's a blessing, but after September we have no idea what's going to happen. In a way I feel like I can rest easy at the moment knowing that, but at the same time its always in the back of my mind.
We're also moving toward adding to our family the "old fashioned" way. We'll see how that goes. I know so many couples that have struggled with infertility recently and it really breaks my heart. When we first started this foster/adopt process, I had some naive and judgmental feelings toward those who didn't want to consider adoption and only wanted biological kids, no matter how expensive the process became. Knowing now first hand how hard this CPS road is and how equally uncertain it can be, I can't look at these couples the same way and I want to apologize for my over zealous and ignorant opinions.
If you're morning the loss of a dream like having a child naturally, you're likely in no state of mind to jump into the world of CPS. You need to do some healing and grieving first before you even consider any form of adoption, all of which come with a certain level of risk and potential for heart break. You need to put your marriage first in this instance and make sure the two of you are really ready to move on, both of you. If you bring an at risk child into a grieving and unstable home... well, you can do the math. I'm not saying you shouldn't consider it, I'm just cautioning that you need to make sure you're both ready.
There is a lot of potential for change on our horizon. The possibility of a new baby or not, the possibility of another adoptive placement or not, the possibility that we'll get to keep Munchkin or not... So many variables, but one thing remains the same for us, our hope in Christ. He is our steady rock and our strength.
We know we're going to have Munchkin through the summer and that's a blessing, but after September we have no idea what's going to happen. In a way I feel like I can rest easy at the moment knowing that, but at the same time its always in the back of my mind.
We're also moving toward adding to our family the "old fashioned" way. We'll see how that goes. I know so many couples that have struggled with infertility recently and it really breaks my heart. When we first started this foster/adopt process, I had some naive and judgmental feelings toward those who didn't want to consider adoption and only wanted biological kids, no matter how expensive the process became. Knowing now first hand how hard this CPS road is and how equally uncertain it can be, I can't look at these couples the same way and I want to apologize for my over zealous and ignorant opinions.
If you're morning the loss of a dream like having a child naturally, you're likely in no state of mind to jump into the world of CPS. You need to do some healing and grieving first before you even consider any form of adoption, all of which come with a certain level of risk and potential for heart break. You need to put your marriage first in this instance and make sure the two of you are really ready to move on, both of you. If you bring an at risk child into a grieving and unstable home... well, you can do the math. I'm not saying you shouldn't consider it, I'm just cautioning that you need to make sure you're both ready.
There is a lot of potential for change on our horizon. The possibility of a new baby or not, the possibility of another adoptive placement or not, the possibility that we'll get to keep Munchkin or not... So many variables, but one thing remains the same for us, our hope in Christ. He is our steady rock and our strength.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Life Happens - Perspectives Change
We kept 2 and 3 year old little girls for another foster family last weekend... Goodness! No wonder people thought we were crazy for wanting 3 kids dropped on us all at once! We knew it would be hard, but can you say reality check? Its one thing when you gradually add one at a time over a period of years building up to 3 (easing into the sleep deprivation and exhaustion, like a frog in a pot of water slowly being brought to a boil), but all at once, that's a big big change.
We had a lot of fun, don't get me wrong, but I seriously could have taken a 10 year long nap after that. I was going to try to do it all on my own, that's the really funny part. Jeremy works on Saturdays. About a week prior, he sat down with me and asked, "Are you sure you don't want me to try to get the day off?" What a good man I've got! I would have needed a 20 year nap if I had done it all myself.
I won't bore you with the details of the weekend, but I will say they left a lasting impression on us, as well as a nasty cold. I have to give props to their foster family though. This couple has 5 foster kidos and two biological children, they both work full time, and in a year and a half this is only the second time they've taken a weekend off. I put people like this in the Super Hero category.
After this experience, Jeremy and I both took a step back and reevaluated our own goals and abilities. It was looking like they might not match up. I'm not a quitter. I'm a woman of my word. In some ways I'm a bit prideful. I didn't want to admit that it would be too much for me on top of a full time job. I want to be a Super Hero too. But lets be realistic for just a minute... If we take on more than we can actually handle and end up doing a poor job by these kids, is that really beneficial to anyone?
So here's where we're at now... Munchkin's case could go on for more than a year before we have any real idea which way its going to go. We are going to have him for a while (hopefully forever, but at least a while). In addition to a baby, we can really only handle adding one child at a time, especially if they're under the age of 5. If one of us was full time, stay at home, we might feel differently, but this is our current reality. We're staying in on the sibling group of two we're currently short listed on, but they are both school age, and that we feel, is within our realm of ability as well.
I'm coming to terms with the fact that our goals and abilities will morph and change as we move through life. Its ok to stop and reevaluate and reassess your trajectory from time to time. And owning your limitations is not a sign of weakness. Being self aware in and of itself can be a great strength. At the same time listening to God's clear call in spite of those weaknesses at times can bring great blessing. So while we can't eliminate God's power and strength from the equation, we have to be sure, just how far he's calling us to step out. I don't want to get ahead of where he needs me to be.
There is no black and white. There is no formula. Life happens. The Spirit leads. Perspectives change.
We had a lot of fun, don't get me wrong, but I seriously could have taken a 10 year long nap after that. I was going to try to do it all on my own, that's the really funny part. Jeremy works on Saturdays. About a week prior, he sat down with me and asked, "Are you sure you don't want me to try to get the day off?" What a good man I've got! I would have needed a 20 year nap if I had done it all myself.
I won't bore you with the details of the weekend, but I will say they left a lasting impression on us, as well as a nasty cold. I have to give props to their foster family though. This couple has 5 foster kidos and two biological children, they both work full time, and in a year and a half this is only the second time they've taken a weekend off. I put people like this in the Super Hero category.
After this experience, Jeremy and I both took a step back and reevaluated our own goals and abilities. It was looking like they might not match up. I'm not a quitter. I'm a woman of my word. In some ways I'm a bit prideful. I didn't want to admit that it would be too much for me on top of a full time job. I want to be a Super Hero too. But lets be realistic for just a minute... If we take on more than we can actually handle and end up doing a poor job by these kids, is that really beneficial to anyone?
So here's where we're at now... Munchkin's case could go on for more than a year before we have any real idea which way its going to go. We are going to have him for a while (hopefully forever, but at least a while). In addition to a baby, we can really only handle adding one child at a time, especially if they're under the age of 5. If one of us was full time, stay at home, we might feel differently, but this is our current reality. We're staying in on the sibling group of two we're currently short listed on, but they are both school age, and that we feel, is within our realm of ability as well.
I'm coming to terms with the fact that our goals and abilities will morph and change as we move through life. Its ok to stop and reevaluate and reassess your trajectory from time to time. And owning your limitations is not a sign of weakness. Being self aware in and of itself can be a great strength. At the same time listening to God's clear call in spite of those weaknesses at times can bring great blessing. So while we can't eliminate God's power and strength from the equation, we have to be sure, just how far he's calling us to step out. I don't want to get ahead of where he needs me to be.
There is no black and white. There is no formula. Life happens. The Spirit leads. Perspectives change.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Conflicted - Two sides of Hope
As a general rule, I try not to wish for or celebrate the failure or misfortune of someone else. As a foster parent you find yourself in an odd situation.
You fall in love with the little ones in your care. You hear about the conditions and circumstances which brought them into the system, and sometimes you even see the results and repercussions of those conditions and circumstances. You want what's best for them, and from where you stand, its to stay with you.
But there is another side to this story. There is a struggling parent with stories, hurts and traumas of their own. Many of them were foster children themselves or should have been. Shouldn't we hope for them too? Shouldn't we hope that they find something inside of them that compels them to rise above their situation and break the viscous cycle? Shouldn't we pray that they find salvation in Christ? Their lives are just as precious to Jesus. Do we just write them off indefinitely? That just isn't Biblical.
I'm not saying we should send these little ones back into harms way. I'm not saying that we as foster parents shouldn't love them enough to want to keep them. I'm not saying these parents should, depending on the circumstances, get their children back.
What I am saying is that we need to be compassionate and gracious. I live a blessed life. God has been so good to me. How could I possibly judge these people who grew up in much different circumstances, and in a much different environment, with either no or very inappropriate role models? They need my prayers. They need my Jesus.
This is something that both Jeremy and I struggle with. We of course want to keep Munchkin, and we do think that would be what's best for him, but we have to keep the right attitude. The parents in these situations need saving too. I'm probably not the one God is going to use to reach them, but I can pray for the person he is going to use. I may very well be praying for you.
You fall in love with the little ones in your care. You hear about the conditions and circumstances which brought them into the system, and sometimes you even see the results and repercussions of those conditions and circumstances. You want what's best for them, and from where you stand, its to stay with you.
But there is another side to this story. There is a struggling parent with stories, hurts and traumas of their own. Many of them were foster children themselves or should have been. Shouldn't we hope for them too? Shouldn't we hope that they find something inside of them that compels them to rise above their situation and break the viscous cycle? Shouldn't we pray that they find salvation in Christ? Their lives are just as precious to Jesus. Do we just write them off indefinitely? That just isn't Biblical.
I'm not saying we should send these little ones back into harms way. I'm not saying that we as foster parents shouldn't love them enough to want to keep them. I'm not saying these parents should, depending on the circumstances, get their children back.
What I am saying is that we need to be compassionate and gracious. I live a blessed life. God has been so good to me. How could I possibly judge these people who grew up in much different circumstances, and in a much different environment, with either no or very inappropriate role models? They need my prayers. They need my Jesus.
This is something that both Jeremy and I struggle with. We of course want to keep Munchkin, and we do think that would be what's best for him, but we have to keep the right attitude. The parents in these situations need saving too. I'm probably not the one God is going to use to reach them, but I can pray for the person he is going to use. I may very well be praying for you.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Up, down and round and round
Ok, its been a while since I had a chance to post... where to begin...We'll start with the fun stuff.
Munchkin is as cute as ever. He's starting to roll and is getting more and more control of his little hands. And boy is he a talker! Once this little guy actually has words we're going to be in trouble. He seems to be advancing ahead of schedule according to the book we're using as a reference for making sure he's on track with his development (I know, I'm a nerd even in this category of life). He's moved on to the next size diaper and the next size of clothes in the last week or two as well!
I'm sure all of these little mile stones seem silly or simple, hardly worth the praise I'm giving them, to someone without children. I can't help getting giddy about them though. It means we're doing something right! Not only is he still alive, but he's thriving! Every little cough, sneeze or slight fluctuation in his temperature or bowel movement schedule can get a new parent nervous. We start second guessing every choice we've made concerning the care of our little one if they get sick.
This last week Munchkin caught a stomach bug. Poor little guy. He's starting to eat better now, but his poor little tummy is still a bit out of sorts. What ifs began running though both mine and Jeremy's head, or mine at least. But you know, kids get sick, and if you take proper care of them and get them through it, it builds their little immune systems. So for all of you other parents out there, there are things that are really beyond your control, and you've got to just go with it and do your best.
The real kicker for us this last week is that a few days after Munchkin got this stomach bug, I came home with the flu. Fortunately he'd had his flu shot so he wasn't at a high risk of catching it from me, but I'd never had to take care of a baby, much less a sick baby while trying to take care of me... can you say impossible!?!? Jeremy ended up taking a couple sick days from work to come home and take care of us. My Hero! I think I'm almost done with this, but I still have a low fever and its day 5 or 6 now... losing count.
On the adoption/foster process front...
Munchkin's case is very different than Booger's case was. Biological family is still trying to get Munchkin back and there were no relatives involved with Booger's case. Its been a learning experience.
We take Munchkin for weekly visits with bio parents. We were at first trying to be very friendly and non-judgmental of the bio parents (in-spite of the reasons for Munchkin's removal), and really we still are, but their behavior recently is making that a bit difficult. We and CPS have decided that it would be best for us not to cross paths with either parent when dropping off or picking up from visits from now on. Or original hope was that we could be a resource for them or at least bio mom regardless of the outcome of the case, and though I'm not surprised, I'm sad to say that no longer looks like its going to be a possibility.
At first is was very hard to say which direction this would all go. Now it seems to be leaning ever so slightly in our favor unless something unexpected changes, but unexpected change is always a possibility. We have to keep that in the back our minds. The powers that be (CPS and the Attorney) though have assured us (though the judge really has the final say) that significant action to improve will be required of the bio family or another willing relative that is more suitable will have to surface for him to be placed with someone else. If significant improvement is made or a willing and suitable relative is found, I have to trust that they are making the right decision for Munchkin. Its very clear that they are not just checking boxes though and they don't seem optimistic that either of these things are going to happen. Even if they did happen, they foresee us having Munchkin for a while regardless.
Letting this little guy go would feel very different than letting Booger go did. We know where Booger is and that he's being loved and is well taken care of. We wouldn't have those assurances with Munchkin and we would probably never see him again. I have to continue to love on Munchkin with a hopeful heart, while at the same time mentally preparing myself for good-bye (that very well maybe a full year from now). Can you say emotional walking contradiction on a marathon length scale?
Munchkin is as cute as ever. He's starting to roll and is getting more and more control of his little hands. And boy is he a talker! Once this little guy actually has words we're going to be in trouble. He seems to be advancing ahead of schedule according to the book we're using as a reference for making sure he's on track with his development (I know, I'm a nerd even in this category of life). He's moved on to the next size diaper and the next size of clothes in the last week or two as well!
I'm sure all of these little mile stones seem silly or simple, hardly worth the praise I'm giving them, to someone without children. I can't help getting giddy about them though. It means we're doing something right! Not only is he still alive, but he's thriving! Every little cough, sneeze or slight fluctuation in his temperature or bowel movement schedule can get a new parent nervous. We start second guessing every choice we've made concerning the care of our little one if they get sick.
This last week Munchkin caught a stomach bug. Poor little guy. He's starting to eat better now, but his poor little tummy is still a bit out of sorts. What ifs began running though both mine and Jeremy's head, or mine at least. But you know, kids get sick, and if you take proper care of them and get them through it, it builds their little immune systems. So for all of you other parents out there, there are things that are really beyond your control, and you've got to just go with it and do your best.
The real kicker for us this last week is that a few days after Munchkin got this stomach bug, I came home with the flu. Fortunately he'd had his flu shot so he wasn't at a high risk of catching it from me, but I'd never had to take care of a baby, much less a sick baby while trying to take care of me... can you say impossible!?!? Jeremy ended up taking a couple sick days from work to come home and take care of us. My Hero! I think I'm almost done with this, but I still have a low fever and its day 5 or 6 now... losing count.
On the adoption/foster process front...
Munchkin's case is very different than Booger's case was. Biological family is still trying to get Munchkin back and there were no relatives involved with Booger's case. Its been a learning experience.
We take Munchkin for weekly visits with bio parents. We were at first trying to be very friendly and non-judgmental of the bio parents (in-spite of the reasons for Munchkin's removal), and really we still are, but their behavior recently is making that a bit difficult. We and CPS have decided that it would be best for us not to cross paths with either parent when dropping off or picking up from visits from now on. Or original hope was that we could be a resource for them or at least bio mom regardless of the outcome of the case, and though I'm not surprised, I'm sad to say that no longer looks like its going to be a possibility.
At first is was very hard to say which direction this would all go. Now it seems to be leaning ever so slightly in our favor unless something unexpected changes, but unexpected change is always a possibility. We have to keep that in the back our minds. The powers that be (CPS and the Attorney) though have assured us (though the judge really has the final say) that significant action to improve will be required of the bio family or another willing relative that is more suitable will have to surface for him to be placed with someone else. If significant improvement is made or a willing and suitable relative is found, I have to trust that they are making the right decision for Munchkin. Its very clear that they are not just checking boxes though and they don't seem optimistic that either of these things are going to happen. Even if they did happen, they foresee us having Munchkin for a while regardless.
Letting this little guy go would feel very different than letting Booger go did. We know where Booger is and that he's being loved and is well taken care of. We wouldn't have those assurances with Munchkin and we would probably never see him again. I have to continue to love on Munchkin with a hopeful heart, while at the same time mentally preparing myself for good-bye (that very well maybe a full year from now). Can you say emotional walking contradiction on a marathon length scale?
Friday, December 20, 2013
Less Talk and more Action
We're putting feet to our words once again. We've had Munchkin now for 3 1/2 weeks or so. Goodness gracious! So much personality for someone so small! This little guy knows what he wants and gosh darn it he wants it now. He's demanding, but he's full of smiles and coos when you come through for him. It keeps us going when sleep deprivation, work stress and seasonal illness take their toll, and boy have they this week for me especially. Sooooo ready for some down time over the holidays!
I'm going to take this moment to say a special thanks to my mommy. She's been such a wonderful help and has graciously dealt with my stressed out, sick, and grumpy self this week. And another special thanks to my Sweetie. He's also been very sweet and gracious, and he has done his best to take care of me without jeopardizing his own health in the process. I'm feeling very loved in the midst of my medicated chaos.
On a slightly different note, here's an update for those of you who are as anxious as we are to see us actually follow through to adoption someday... This placement has not made any promises of being a potential adoptive placement. It can always end up going that way, but we took this one on with the full knowledge that its possible we won't get to keep him. This go around, we're not asking as many questions. We don't want anyone in the system to make us any promises they can't keep. We will love him while we have him, however long that may be. His particular situation tugged at our heart strings and we said yes. I can't disclose the details, but just know that everyone involved in this case holds a special place in our life's mission as Christians and as a couple.
Because we know that Munchkin might not be a permanent deal, we're remaining very open to young sibling groups of two. I know what you're thinking, and yes we are crazy, but we've seen how quickly things can change in the world of CPS and how long they can drag out as well, and we don't know which extreme Munchkin's case might lean toward. We're going to have to step out in faith and trust that God knows exactly what's on the horizon for us, and we have to trust that he's going to provide for our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual needs as we pour ourselves out for the least of these as he's called us to.
If you would please keep us in your prayers. Its easy enough to write all of this. Doing it is not so easy and while I may sound confident and resolved, there are doubts and fears that at times pop up and can tear my eyes off of my Savior, who is my strength and supply. I think that's probably true for all of us, no matter what our specific calling in life is. So be encouraged! Doing something hard is by definition hard, but doing something easy isn't nearly as rewarding and life giving. Dare to do something hard, challenging, and risky for the sake of Christ!
I'm going to take this moment to say a special thanks to my mommy. She's been such a wonderful help and has graciously dealt with my stressed out, sick, and grumpy self this week. And another special thanks to my Sweetie. He's also been very sweet and gracious, and he has done his best to take care of me without jeopardizing his own health in the process. I'm feeling very loved in the midst of my medicated chaos.
On a slightly different note, here's an update for those of you who are as anxious as we are to see us actually follow through to adoption someday... This placement has not made any promises of being a potential adoptive placement. It can always end up going that way, but we took this one on with the full knowledge that its possible we won't get to keep him. This go around, we're not asking as many questions. We don't want anyone in the system to make us any promises they can't keep. We will love him while we have him, however long that may be. His particular situation tugged at our heart strings and we said yes. I can't disclose the details, but just know that everyone involved in this case holds a special place in our life's mission as Christians and as a couple.
Because we know that Munchkin might not be a permanent deal, we're remaining very open to young sibling groups of two. I know what you're thinking, and yes we are crazy, but we've seen how quickly things can change in the world of CPS and how long they can drag out as well, and we don't know which extreme Munchkin's case might lean toward. We're going to have to step out in faith and trust that God knows exactly what's on the horizon for us, and we have to trust that he's going to provide for our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual needs as we pour ourselves out for the least of these as he's called us to.
If you would please keep us in your prayers. Its easy enough to write all of this. Doing it is not so easy and while I may sound confident and resolved, there are doubts and fears that at times pop up and can tear my eyes off of my Savior, who is my strength and supply. I think that's probably true for all of us, no matter what our specific calling in life is. So be encouraged! Doing something hard is by definition hard, but doing something easy isn't nearly as rewarding and life giving. Dare to do something hard, challenging, and risky for the sake of Christ!
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