31 feels pretty good

Well, I can say that I survived being pregnant now. I had nearly the whole package too. Morning sickness (lost 10 lbs in the first trimester). Heart burn like you wouldn't believe (I started sleeping sitting up on the couch about 4 or 5 months in and still needed nexium to sleep). Made two separate trips to the ER in the middle of the night, one for a subcorionic (spelling? ) hemorrhage and one for a 2 hour plus esophagus spasm. In the final trimester I started blowing up like a balloon and ended up having pre-eclampsia.  The final result was a c section at 38 weeks because of the pre-eclampsia and because little man was breach. Where's my T-shirt, bumper sticker, and coffee mug?

Now here I sit on my birthday, and Jackson's original due date, holding this precious miracle sleeping in my arms. He's perfect and beautiful and I am so in love.  It was all completely worth it, though I can't say we're planning to do it again (at least not on purpose). I'm also nearly back to normal so far as the swelling goes and I can sleep in my own bed again without taking nexium (happy dance). You know you were in bad shape when you feel better immediately after a c section than you did before.  Jackson is even letting me get a reasonable amount of sleep (I probably just jinxed myself).

Munchkin has now officially been transferred to adoptions!  We meet with his new adoption case worker next week and should hopefully have some more information regarding the time frame. His biological mom is still MIA, so the possibility of an open adoption is pretty much off the table.

Munchkin loves his new little brother and has been very good at being gentle with him. I can't believe how big he is now. He's using more and more words.  He's showing some interest in using the potty (though I don't know that he's quite ready yet). The toddler tantrum phase has begun though...  and Jackson will follow right behind him in another 18 months or so. :-) Yay...

I'm just so very much in love with our sweet little family though!  I love both of my boys so much! The process was different with each one. With Munchkin the "birth pains" were more emotional and psychological.  With Jackson they were predominantly physical.  They are both worth every bit of it. Every curve ball. Every tear. We're not at the end of the adoption journey for Munchkin yet, but we're pretty darn close. We're quickly approaching the light at the end of the tunnel.

Today is a happy day. I have so much to be thankful for. 31 feels pretty good.

A Rare Moment

When you're a mother and a wife and you work full time, moments alone are rare.  I'm currently enjoying just such a moment.  My husband is teaching the youth tonight at church.  Munchkin and I stayed home for a scheduled visit with his CPS case worker (LOVE her and how hard she's worked for our Munchkin!!).  Munchkin passed out about 30 minutes ago.  When its bedtime for this little guy, he doesn't mess around.  Give him his binkie and his blankie and he's out without a fuss.  We're not really looking forward to phasing out the binkie...  Dear Lord help us all.

So, what am I doing with this precious time I've been given this evening?  I thought I would give you all an update and ask for your prayers on a few things.

I'm 32 weeks pregnant now, almost 33 weeks.  Some women breeze through all of this, and then some of us, myself included, are quite uncomfortable most of the time.  I can't eat a full meal (or I might throw up), I can't eat sushi or have a glass of wine (for obvious reasons), I can't sleep flat (indigestion), I can't sleep on my back (blood flow to the baby), I can't bend over to pick up things (I am likely the most awkward moving person I know at the moment, and you don't realize how often you bend over until you can't), I have a hard time putting on my own socks or clipping my toenails (can't reach them because of this massive belly), I get out of breath walking from one room to another (lung capacity diminishing by the second), holding Munchkin is interesting (my lap is disappearing as well and he's not super gentle, what toddler is), I have to wear dresses now (even maternity jeans at this point are super uncomfortable), I now have lovely kankles...  There are actually much more unpleasant side effects that I won't go into because it could get arguably inappropriate, potentially hilarious, but inappropriate.  

All that said, I'm glad to have this experience.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.  We've had a rough and emotional process with Munchkin, which has been more than worth it.  Now we're having a rough and emotional, though different, process with Jackson, and again, I know it will be more than worth it.  I can't wait to meet him face to face.  I wonder often what he'll look like and who's traits he will have, mine or Jeremy's or a mixture of both.  Its like a real life science experiment!

On the Munchkin front.  Things are still moving in the adoption direction.  I just had a good visit with his CPS case worker and everything seems to be going really well.  Praise God!!!  He's going to let us keep our little man!!!  He's walking confidently now and trying to run and keep up with the big kids.  He says words like "uh oh, wow, ball, whoa, more, bye bye, mama, dada..."  That's all I can remember at the moment.  He's learning to feed himself pretty well.  He knows where his belly button and his nose are and he wants to show you all the time.  Be careful though, if he shows you his belly button, he'll want to see yours too.  Its amazing to watch him grow and see his personality develop.

There's a sad side to this story at the moment though.  Munchkin's biological mom has run away from her foster home.  We don't know exactly where she is or if they're going to be able to find her any time soon.  She has been gone now for 2 1/2 weeks.  I worry about her, she's just a kid.  I hope and pray that she's safe.  If she doesn't re-surface before we finalize the adoption, an open adoption is obviously not going to happen, which makes me very sad.  We've set up a picture sharing site for her, and if we can get an email address for her, we'll still try to share pictures with her.  If you're the praying kind, please pray for her.  I would really like for her to get her life in order and actually become a positive part of Munchkin's life.  That is still my hope and will continue to be.

She carried him inside of her for 9 months, the same way I'm carrying Jackson.  She loves this little guy, even if she doesn't know how to show it in the proper way.  Having this pregnancy experience gives me even more compassion for her.

Ok, I only have about 20-30 minutes left of solitude...  time to enjoy one of my addictions that I'm allowing myself because I'm pregnant... rootbeer float!!

A Year in Review

2014 will always be remembered in our family for sure.  Here are a few notable moments:

-January-

We had a racially charged (from their side, not ours) confrontation with Munchkin's biological family via CPS conference call.  A few of them were not happy in the beginning about the fact that we're very pasty white in complexion.  It made us a little uneasy about future dealings with them, but it turned out not to be a huge problem after all, thank goodness.  http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/01/up-down-and-round-and-round.html

-February-

We did respite care for a couple of toddler girls...  which made us really re-think our family planning goals.  Wow...  we thought we wanted a sibling group of 2 or 3 dropped on us all at once...  in addition to Munchkin...  God knew better what we could handle of course and closed all doors that could have potentially led to that scenario.
http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/02/life-happens-perspectives-change.html

Jeremy got his college ring!!

-May-

We were asked to seriously consider taking in Munchkin's mom as a co-placement in our home when it was looking like she was likely to get him back.  Our agency advised against it and CPS came to a point where they agreed with our agency.  In retrospect, the right choice was made, it very likely would not have gone well.  Again, God knew better was was best for Munchkin and what was best for us.
http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/05/fork-in-road.html

Munchkin took swimming lessons and loved it!!

-June-

I attended the matching picnic for adoptive families and children eligible for adoption...  very awkward.  We didn't end up submitting a home study on any of the kids there, but it sure opened my eyes to the need and has significantly influenced our plans for the somewhat distant future.
http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/06/awkward-sad-and-inspiring-all-in-one.html

-July-

We found out that we're pregnant!!!  Morning sickness among other first trimester symptoms immediately came into full effect, which is one reason there was a rather large gap between blog posts at this time.  Life is beautiful, right? :)  My inability to function sealed Munchkin's selection of Jeremy as his favorite, which on the plus side I know will be helpful come March.  Poor Jeremy though... he's a trooper and took very good care of both me and Munchkin.

-October-

Munchkin's mom was given a 6 month extension on the case, but in the same day the topic of an open adoption was laid on the table and gears on both sides started shifting.  Her lawyer changing gears was the most significant and future altering piece of the puzzle.
http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/10/hopeful-anticipation.html

Munchkin had a birthday and took his first steps!!

We welcomed a new pastor and his family to our church.  I'm really looking forward to seeing how God is going to use him to lead our church family and guide us in reaching out to our community.

-November-

Munchkin's mom verbally agreed to an open adoption and we found out that we're having a boy!!!
http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/11/the-ball-is-rolling.html

We celebrated having Munchkin in our home for a full year.

Jeremy got to go hunting with his dad for the first time, who shot his first dear, and we now have a freezer full enough to last us all year long.

I began sleeping on the couch...  oh indigestion exaggerated by pregnancy, and seasonal allergies, how I loath you.

-December-

Both of Munchkin's parents signed relinquishment papers!!!  CPS and our agency told us it was safe to get excited.  :)
http://adoptedbythedavisfamily.blogspot.com/2014/12/lots-and-lots-of-happy-news.html

Jeremy and I celebrated 3 years of marriage!!

Deep breath...  Here we come 2015!  We'll welcome Jackson into our family in March and hopefully finalize the adoption of Munchkin by May.  Jeremy will graduate in May as well.  We have a lot to look forward to and a lot to be excited about.  We might not get to sleep for much of it, but 2015 should be another memorable year.  God only knows what all lies in store for us and our growing family.

Lots and Lots of Happy News!!

I just received word yesterday that both of Munchkin's parents have signed relinquishment papers!!  He's one step closer to being a Davis (on paper I mean, he's already ours in our hearts)!!

There's a 30 day window for relatives to appeal, and though its not very likely in our case, we still have to keep it in the back of our minds.  We got some updated information on how the timeline is going to play out now.  The case should be transferred to the adoption division in either January or February, and we should, in theory, be able to consummate the adoption in April or May after Jackson is born!  We might be done with everything by this summer...  I'm still wrapping my head around it.

I'm so proud of Munchkin's mom.  This had to have been an incredibly difficult decision.  We're taking a short trip this month and leaving Munchkin with my mom for a few days, and I was just feeling guilty for leaving him for just a long weekend.  I can't imagine how hard it would be to sign away your parental rights forever, even if you know its in his best interests.  She made a very difficult decision today and deserves to be commended for it.  She told his case worker that she really likes us, appreciates that we care about her too, and knows he's safe and loved with us.  She also told his case worker that she knows this isn't good bye forever, and is really appreciative of our willingness to do an open adoption.  I am so incredibly hopeful for her and I'm looking forward to building a friendship with her over the next 17 years.

Today is mine and Jeremy's 3rd wedding anniversary.  It seems like its been longer than that (in a good way).  I can't imagine my life without him in it, and trying to makes me cry (and probably would even if I wasn't pregnant and hormonal).  He is an amazing man after God's own heart, he loves me so well, he's a fantastic father, a wonderful husband, he works hard at everything he does, and I'm so proud to call him mine.  These three years have been quite an adventure.  Its been fun, happy, sad, stressful, exhausting, joyful, uncertain, up and down and all over the place.  I wouldn't want to do this life with anyone else.  My cup overflows.  I love you Sweetheart.

There's Something About November

Jeremy had a home visit with Munchkin's CPS case worker today.  The current plan is to either get relinquishment papers signed and submitted for the court hearing in January, or to terminate parental rights in February if they won't sign the relinquishment papers.  Then the case will be transferred to the adoption side of CPS and we'll have another status hearing four months from either relinquishment or termination, and then we'll process the adoption and consummate.  We're probably looking at close to a year before everything is final, but it feels like now its all just going through the process and we don't have to worry as much about losing him. (sigh)  It'll probably be around November of next year...  We got him November of last year...  November might be come a bit sentimental time for us in a lot of ways.

Another fun happening today...  We're getting a very temporary foster placement tonight.  Another new born straight from the NICU, little bitty guy.  Another family in our agency, who has the two older siblings already, and are planning to take this little man as well, just moved to a new house.  Until they get all of their paper work and license updated, they're operating under a temporary license with their current placements.  The catch is they can't take any new placements under the temporary license.  They should have all that worked out by Wednesday though, and we're going to keep the new baby until then.

It should make for a fun weekend.  We'll see how we fare with a toddler and an infant.  We'll see how Munchkin does as a big brother.  It'll be like a sweet little test run so we'll have a better idea what we're getting ourselves into in March when Jackson arrives.

Here's to a life of adventure.  :)  My heart is full and my God is good.

The Ball is Rolling

Ok, I've left you all hanging for a while...  The meeting that was supposed to happen a few weeks ago got postponed to this past Tuesday (11/4) for reasons I won't go into.  Because of some of the things that transpired in the past month after my last blog entry, we were not sure this meeting was going to go well at all.  Munchkin's case trajectory was definitely moving toward us adopting him, it was now just going to be a question as to whether or not Munchkin's mom was going to relinquish her rights or if they were going to have to go through the process of terminating her rights.

We still hoped that she would do the right thing for him on her own, and if she did, we'd still consider an open adoption.  Low and behold... she verbally made a beautifully self sacrificing and loving decision for her sweet baby and agreed to enter an open adoption with us.  We all cried and she cried and we all told her how proud we were of her.  What could have been a very ugly and heart breaking meeting, turned into something beautiful and full of hope.

Nothing is in writing yet, but the ball is rolling in the right direction.  If all goes well, though we don't have a time line yet, this could mean getting to officially adopt Munchkin much sooner than expected.

In other news...  We're having a Boy!  Jackson Asher Davis.  Munchkin is going to have a little brother.  We've already picked out his nursery decor, and I have some plans for Munchkin's room too.  :)  Now we just need to finish clearing out our spare room, do some painting, and save up to buy some of the things I've registered for.

Hopeful Anticipation

We took Munchkin to his trial hearing this last week.  Everything went as expected for the most part during the actual court proceedings, a six month extension was granted.  The events that happened before and after though, went better than expected.

We got to spend some quality time with his grandma and great grandma prior to his hearing.  They got to see how attached he is to my husband (I'm seriously chopped liver when he's around) and how loved he really is in our home.  They asked us, point blank, if we wanted to adopt Munchkin.  Of course we told them we did and that we would be more than willing to consider an open adoption if that was something that Munchkin's mom was willing to consider.  They were surprisingly interested in this possibility and proceeded to encourage his mom to consider it as an option as well.  Munchkin's case worker mentioned it to his mom's attorney and she was also very interested in the possibility and is now advising his mom to consider it.  It is by no means a done deal, but its now very much so on the table for discussion and consideration.  A routine meeting has been scheduled for next week that will include Munchkin's mom and her family, all the case workers and attorneys involved, and us, the foster family.  The possibility of an open adoption will likely be a major topic of discussion.  I'm on pins and needles!!

An open adoption has been our preferred outcome from the beginning.  We love this little guy and as I've expressed in previous blog entries, we have a heart for his young mother.  We want her to have an opportunity to overcome her situation and build a better life for herself.  Her chances of doing just that are much greater if she does not have to care and provide for a small child while trying to finish high school.  Please pray that we can come to a mutually beneficial agreement and that this dream can become a reality!  Its been so obvious that God's hand has been in this from the beginning and he's still in complete control.  No matter what happens next week, pray that we continue to hold on to that truth.

In other news...

We go week after next to find out if we're having a boy or a girl.  Jeremy is convinced its a girl.  We shall see...  I'm just really anxious to get to plan and shop and fill out our registry.  Having more than 8 hours notice before getting a baby delivered to your door is somewhat foreign to me...  I actually get to have everything I need ready and set up before the baby gets here this time!  And I have an estimated arrival date!  All new realities for the Davis house hold.

Munchkin's birthday is this month!!  We're having a small party for him with just family and a few friends.  The one year old birthday cake mess is going to be fun!!  Yet another photo opp that I can't share will you yet.  Hopefully I'll be able to soon though!