Ok, its been a while since I had a chance to post... where to begin...We'll start with the fun stuff.
Munchkin is as cute as ever. He's starting to roll and is getting more and more control of his little hands. And boy is he a talker! Once this little guy actually has words we're going to be in trouble. He seems to be advancing ahead of schedule according to the book we're using as a reference for making sure he's on track with his development (I know, I'm a nerd even in this category of life). He's moved on to the next size diaper and the next size of clothes in the last week or two as well!
I'm sure all of these little mile stones seem silly or simple, hardly worth the praise I'm giving them, to someone without children. I can't help getting giddy about them though. It means we're doing something right! Not only is he still alive, but he's thriving! Every little cough, sneeze or slight fluctuation in his temperature or bowel movement schedule can get a new parent nervous. We start second guessing every choice we've made concerning the care of our little one if they get sick.
This last week Munchkin caught a stomach bug. Poor little guy. He's starting to eat better now, but his poor little tummy is still a bit out of sorts. What ifs began running though both mine and Jeremy's head, or mine at least. But you know, kids get sick, and if you take proper care of them and get them through it, it builds their little immune systems. So for all of you other parents out there, there are things that are really beyond your control, and you've got to just go with it and do your best.
The real kicker for us this last week is that a few days after Munchkin got this stomach bug, I came home with the flu. Fortunately he'd had his flu shot so he wasn't at a high risk of catching it from me, but I'd never had to take care of a baby, much less a sick baby while trying to take care of me... can you say impossible!?!? Jeremy ended up taking a couple sick days from work to come home and take care of us. My Hero! I think I'm almost done with this, but I still have a low fever and its day 5 or 6 now... losing count.
On the adoption/foster process front...
Munchkin's case is very different than Booger's case was. Biological family is still trying to get Munchkin back and there were no relatives involved with Booger's case. Its been a learning experience.
We take Munchkin for weekly visits with bio parents. We were at first trying to be very friendly and non-judgmental of the bio parents (in-spite of the reasons for Munchkin's removal), and really we still are, but their behavior recently is making that a bit difficult. We and CPS have decided that it would be best for us not to cross paths with either parent when dropping off or picking up from visits from now on. Or original hope was that we could be a resource for them or at least bio mom regardless of the outcome of the case, and though I'm not surprised, I'm sad to say that no longer looks like its going to be a possibility.
At first is was very hard to say which direction this would all go. Now it seems to be leaning ever so slightly in our favor unless something unexpected changes, but unexpected change is always a possibility. We have to keep that in the back our minds. The powers that be (CPS and the Attorney) though have assured us (though the judge really has the final say) that significant action to improve will be required of the bio family or another willing relative that is more suitable will have to surface for him to be placed with someone else. If significant improvement is made or a willing and suitable relative is found, I have to trust that they are making the right decision for Munchkin. Its very clear that they are not just checking boxes though and they don't seem optimistic that either of these things are going to happen. Even if they did happen, they foresee us having Munchkin for a while regardless.
Letting this little guy go would feel very different than letting Booger go did. We know where Booger is and that he's being loved and is well taken care of. We wouldn't have those assurances with Munchkin and we would probably never see him again. I have to continue to love on Munchkin with a hopeful heart, while at the same time mentally preparing myself for good-bye (that very well maybe a full year from now). Can you say emotional walking contradiction on a marathon length scale?
